“Forgiveness is the hardest thing for a human being, sometimes we do something so that it is unforgivable”
An abused foster child has no say on how they are to be viewed in society, or how they are presented. They are already given a future that society expects of them.
An Abused foster child is viewed as a “throw away” child or Just “Another Number.” No matter how many foster homes or social workers they go through, no one will truly understand them.
An Abused foster child will give you the answers you are looking for, because they are tired of facing the terrors given to them. Every new family the child is placed in, a new set of rules and guidelines are given. A new set of limits and responsibilities are given, some even impossible to reach and some so overwhelming that it feels like the child will never reach anything worth fighting for.
An Abused foster child will observe your every move, why? Because they just want to be normal and fit in with their own classmates. Being normal is the most challenging thing in the world and some people are given it, while others have to work for it.
I was an abused child. I was one of those children. I was given a tag from society that did not define me. I was forced to do things that young children should not be doing. I was forced to learn the basic human needs of survival alone. I was forced to keep my mouth shut and sometimes we are forced to do “bad” things. No matter how many social workers they send my way, none of them will really understand. Some social workers, will try to work miracles, while others just give up.
Many people have expressed to me that foster children will never make it, because they have been through so much that I might was well just give up. I was astonished with the things I hear, but I keep pushing, because I want to show that no matter where you come from, you can fight.
I once went through a training for a job and I was told that ” Foster children who have been abused will do it themselves.” When I knew that was not true. Society was already giving that labels, because of the action of the parents. The children had no say on who they were and what they wanted to be, they were given it. That is why many children go back to that “lifestyle” because our society said that is what they were.
It is hard trying to get a child who has been through something so bad to talk about it, because they have tried and failed, it has come to a point where they end up keeping their mouth shut. When that one family comes along, they refuse to say anything, not because of “their experience” only because they feel that they cannot trust anyone that will listens to them or anyone who cares. They are dragged through the court system and not given a voice. They are dragged through the court system and forced to give out answers that are not true. They are dragged through the court system, because no one knows what to say to them, so they speak for them.
It will take years of trust to fully get the story. I only tell mine, because I want to help our society understand that Abused Children just wants a fresh start and being able to meet their limits and standards without being forced to face their terrors, but only when they are ready will they talk.
Let us begin at age 5…
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